


The English-Irish Love Affair

by schrodingers_bee



Series: A Study Into the Complexities of the Irish-English Love Affair [2]
Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: A Saga, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Death, Post-Canon, diehard jerin, even if they are hopeless, michelle and alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-15 16:38:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18502861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrodingers_bee/pseuds/schrodingers_bee
Summary: Originally, as they realised what chaos would ensue amongst the entire community of Derry, James and Erin decided to conceal their budding relationship for at least a few weeks. Given the English-Irish thing and the general population of Derry having a habit of involving themselves as intimately as possible in other’s affairs, it seemed like a good idea. However, given that the fledgling couple could not, for all the world, keep a secret between them, it began to look like a controlled reaction was their best bet, despite how terrifying the prospect was.(The sequel to Sunsets, Mattresses and Good Mornings.)





	1. Totally Normal and Really Ace

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who encouraged me to write a sequel to Sunsets, Mattresses and Good Mornings and to everyone who read it! It meant the world to me! I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Originally, as they realised what chaos would ensue amongst the entire community of Derry, James and Erin decided to conceal their budding relationship for at least a few weeks. Given the English-Irish thing and the general population of Derry having a habit of involving themselves as intimately as possible in other’s affairs, it seemed like a good idea. However, given that the fledgling couple could not, for all the world, keep a secret between them, it began to look like a controlled reaction was their best bet, despite how terrifying the prospect was.

 

If any moment could definitively prove Erin and James’s inability to keep a secret, it would be the morning of the conception of their relationship. There was utter silence in the Mallon kitchen, save the scraping of butter knives on toast; partially out of respect for Michelle’s devastating hangover; partially due to Mr and Mrs Mallon’s desire to take advantage of any and all opportunities for silence; and partially due to the fact that Erin and James were so crippled by their inability to lie that they had lost all knowledge pertaining to human interaction.

 

“So,” Deirdre began, beginning to find the overall lack of noise to be rather unsettling, “how was everyone’s wee holiday yesterday?”

 

“Totally normal!” Erin blurted out, loud enough to make Michelle groan internally.

“Ace, really Mrs Mallon!” She added nervously, “Totally normal and really ace time, like!”

 

James shot Erin a look as if to say ‘ _ Seriously?! _ ’

 

Erin, in turn, shot him a look of apology before returning her focus back to her jam toast, rather abashed.

 

Unlike her husband who stared —disinterested by his surroundings— at his newspaper and her daughter who was fighting off the stampede of drumming elephants in her head by resting it on the table, Deirdre caught every word of their silent interaction.

 

However, Deirdre Mallon, as a rule, did not interfere in the matters under her roof that did not endanger;

 

  1. Someone’s safety
  2. Her sanity
  3. The good Mallon name



 

Whilst this criteria covered a multitude of, mostly Michelle’s, sins, whatever was going on between her wee English nephew and Erin, did not make the cut, so instead of pushing further, she shrugged it off and continued to butter her toast. However it did amuse her to know that the art of subtlety had not yet reached them.

  
  


It was therefore safe to say that if they wanted to see their one week anniversary, James and Erin would have to rip off the plaster and hope to god that their honesty would count for something among those, namely Michelle, who would rather convert than have their wee English prick of a cousin riding their best mate.

 

The plan was to tell the girls after school, as to avoid Jenny Joyce sticking her nose in it, and they had reached lunchtime without so much as a meltdown between them. They were rather chuffed with themselves all things considered and having snuck into the science cupboard, they were telling each other just that.

 

“We ain’t half bad at this, are we?” Erin grinned, perching herself on a crate labelled ‘FRAGILE’ that left her at eye level with James who had opted to stay standing.

 

“Not bad at all,” James concurred, “we’ll definitely manage til the end of the day. Besides, we won’t have a chance to talk with the others with the history quiz next period and with Sister Michael teaching the English lesson after.”

 

“Aye,” Erin nodded, “though now you mention it, what are we gonna tell ‘em? After school that is?”

 

James smirked, moving closer to Erin, “I’d tell them that I fancy a funny, smart, creative, beautiful girl who just happens to be their and my best mate.”

 

Erin blushed and leaned in, “And I’d tell them that I fancy a kind, clever, handsome fella who just happens be—“

 

Before she could finish, James had closed the distance between them, brushing his lips against hers. 

 

Far too tenderly for Erin’s liking. 

 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she deepened the kiss, her tongue freely exploring his mouth. His breath hitched, making Erin smirk. Beginning to feel rather sheepish, with his arms still by his side, James mirrored her enthusiasm, pulling her closer by her waist, replacing her smirk with a low moan in the back of her throat as their tongues danced between them. Biting on her lower lip— like they did in the movies—Erin squeaked, causing James to grin against her mouth in triumph. They were playing a game of who would go further first. As Erin trailed her fingers across his waistline, he would move his hand up her leg. As James kissed her neck, Erin wrapped her legs around his, pulling him in, closer and closer.

  
  


Erin pulled away first, resting her forehead against his, their limbs still intertwined.

 

“You know James, I really do li—“

 

Before she could finish, the door of the storeroom swung open and Michelle, with Orla and Claire in tow, marched in.

 

“I’m telling ya Claire, if you mix ethanol and water you get vodka, it’s just a f—“

 

If there ever was an image that made Michelle silent with shock, it was the scene in front of her. Her wee English cousin with dishevelled hair, lips smeared with sparkly lip gloss and in the arms of her best mate in a similar dishevelled state.

 

Next to her, Claire had turned a shocking shade of red. She spluttered, “Perhaps— er— Michelle—“ tugging on her blazer, “we should— should— go.”

 

“We can explain!” James gasped, taking a step away from Erin— in an attempt to protect her dignity—pulling down his jumper over the crotch of his trousers.

 

“Explain what?” Orla asked airily. Claire whispered something in her ear, that made her gape like a goldfish.

 

“Ohhhh.”

 

Michelle, finding her voice, hissed, “Ye better have a bloody brilliant explanation for this.”

 

“We do,” Erin sighed, clambering off her crate and taking hold of James hand, “we’re dating.”

 

“I’m gonna fecking boke!”

 

“Since last night,” James added, “we were going to tell you after school.”

 

“Christ almighty.” Michelle gaped.

 

“What?” Erin queried, heart thudding at a million miles an hour.

 

“You two were riding each other last night?! With me right next to you?! Sick forks!”

 

“No!” James cried, turning a shade of red to rival Claire’s, “We didn’t have  _ sex _ ! Jesus, Michelle! We were making sure that you didn’t choke on your own vomit, which I haven’t actually heard you thank us for yet!”

 

Michelle turned to Erin, “Y’know he’s only in it to ride ya?”

 

“Michelle, stop it.” Erin pleaded.

 

“He’s an English perv, he’ll dump you like a rock when he’s done with ya.”

 

“Please, Michelle!” Erin cried, tears brimming in her eyes as she gripped James’s hand.

 

“Don’t come crying to me when it happens, that’s all I’m saying.” She scoffed, barging past them, reaching for the ethanol on the shelf beside them.

 

Whether it was from sleep exhaustion, the realisation that their perfect plan had fallen around them, or the distress of hearing her best mate say such cruel things, Erin dissolved into tears, released James’s hand and fled to the bathroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, poor Erin! I'll put up the second chapter as soon as possible!
> 
> Quick context: The whole water and ethanol thing is based off a real argument I had with a friend who in some ways is sorta like Michelle, despite being a bloke!


	2. Apples, Sherbets and Dilute Ethanol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin is visited by each of the girls

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch but Erin had no intention of ever leaving the cubicle she had locked herself in. The girls in the year below, who she could hardly name, had given up five minutes ago on trying to prompt her into talking and left Erin to sob silently. 

 

If she was entirely honest, she was nervous beyond words about her relationship with James. The kissing, she could do, she was happy to do, but the emotional crap? As James slept last night, she sat, watching him, and wondered if they could really just flick a switch and move from being friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. Was it that simple? Or would they crash and burn and ruin their friendship forever? Michelle’s words prodded at a sinking fear in her stomach. Not that she believed for a moment that James would take advantage of her, but what if it did end in tears. After all, she cursed herself, it had begun in tears, more or less.

 

The door of her cubicle creaked open. Jolting her head up from her hands, Erin saw Orla, pocket knife in hand, smiling feebly.

 

“Claire explained.”

 

Erin’s face crumbled again and she wailed. Orla rushed to hug her, closing the cubicle door behind her.

 

“There, there. Kissing a wee English fella can’t be all that bad. Besides, they do all taste of apples.”

 

Erin laughed, through her tears, at Orla’s absurdity and thought back to when, as wee’un, Erin had hugged Orla as she cried herself to sleep the night her DaーErin’s uncle Phillipー died, and every night onwards for 3 months. It only made her cry more. Orla just hugged her, swaying her side to side and murmuring words of comfort (mainly “apples”).

 

A few minutes of tears later, Erin gently pushed away, wiping her eyes,

 

“Thanks Orla, I think I’m feeling better now.”

 

“Cracker.” She grinned, considering her work done.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute, I just need to clean me self up.”

 

Orla nodded, got down on her stomach and shimmied out under the cubicle, even though, Erin noted, from this side she did have access to the lock.

 

“She’s in there.” Orla whispered, as the door to the girls toilets creaked open.

 

A second later Erin heard a knock on the cubicle door and Claire feebly called out, “Can I come in, Erin? Are you okay?”

 

Erin unlocked the door and watched as her best mate walked into the cubicle with a look of concern etched onto her face.

 

“I’m fine, honest.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Aye.”

 

“Sherbet?”

 

“Eh?”

 

“I got sherbets in my pick ‘n’ mix today.” Claire shrugged, “I’ve always found sweets to be kinda comforting and James has already eaten all my bonbons.”

 

“James!” Erin gasped, “Is he okay?”

 

“He’s worried about you. Worried you believed what Michelle was saying.”

 

“I didn’t, I swear.” Erin choked, tears brimming again.

 

“That’s what I told him!” Claire squeaked, adding quickly, “I think he’s just scared of losing you!”

 

“I’m scared of losing  _ him _ .” Erin sniffed, grabbing a sherbet and popping it into her mouth, “I want us to work out more than anything.”

 

Clare nodded, “Given my total lack of experience, I won’t blame you for ignoring me, but from what I’ve deduced from romance novels; relationships are always tricky at the beginning. It’s an adjustment and it can be scary, but it’s also exciting and can leave ye feeling utterly over the moon. You’ve just got to really want it,” Claire smiled, wrapping an arm around Erin, “which you both do. And frankly, anyone who gives you grief about the English thing can go through me.”

 

Claire had no idea how much those words soothed Erin, but given that James had expressed identical concerns to Claire between bonbons, she figured that if the advice ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

 

This was one of those moment that Claire was incredibly grateful for the fact that she was the only wee lesbian in Derry. No risk of relationships. At least until she was older. For now, she was just happy to be of help to her hetero-disaster friends in regards to all their romantic ailments.

 

“Where’s Michelle?” Erin asked, after a moment of silence.

 

“Drinking diluted ethanol behind the climbing frame I think.”

 

“Is that what she was drinking last night?”

 

“Aye, her vodka guy got caught smuggling blow in Marmite jars across the border, apparently.”

 

“Sweet suffering Jesus, does she know it ain’t the same as vodka?”

 

“Nay, she doesn’t. I keep telling ‘er but she won’t listen.”

 

“Ack!”

 

Bang, bang, bang.

 

“I wanna talk to Erin.” Michelle called out coldly.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Claire mouthed.

 

Erin shook her head.

 

Claire smiled, unlocked the door and avoiding eye contact with Michelle, left the loos and hoped Sister Michael wouldn’t question her 13 minute absence from class. Fat chance!

 

Michelle silently strode into the cubicle, locked the door and stared intently at Erin.

 

“So then,” Erin sniffed coldly, “what did you want to tell me?”

 

“You ‘n’ James. I ain’t too bothered, I suppose.”

 

“Oh, so we have your permission then(?) Praise the lord(!)” Erin snarled, furiously wiping any residual tears from her face.

Michelle scowled, but sighed a moment later, “I’m sorry, alright. I was shocked.”

 

“That doesn’t excuse what ye said.”

 

“I know. You’re right.”

 

Did she just heard that right? Did Michelle Mallon just confess to being wrong?

 

“I’m what?!”

 

“Don’t make me say it again.”

 

“Okay.” Erin smiled.

 

“The thing is I ain’t fussed about the whole English- Irish thing. Shag who you like, I say. It’s just that— that— I’m jealous.”

 

“Pardon?!”

 

“Ack! Not in that way!” Michelle cried, “Y’know. You an’ Orla are cousins and you, Orla an’ Claire have been mates since ye were wee. But I only came into the picture first year of secondary. I was always the odd one out, like. So when James joined I was thrilled, right, ‘cus it meant that he was the odd one. The wee English prick. An’ I never let ‘im forget it. But now you an’ him are riding each other, I’m the odd one out again. I thought I got over it when I thought he was leaving. I realised we were all just Derry Girls. Equals. Nothing else to it. But you an’ him will change things. I know it.”

 

Erin stood agape at Michelle’s unexpected show of vulnerability. Utterly speechless, Erin ran through their every interaction in her mind, scanning for any moment that would have made Michelle feel like that.

 

“But that’s okay.” Michelle added, “It’s stupid, I know.”

 

Erin threw herself at Michelle, wrapping her in a hug tight enough to make anyone boke. “You’re our best mate Michelle, don’t ever think you’re the odd one out. I could have met you when we were foetuses for all I care. I love you Michelle.”

 

“I love ye too.” Michelle replied gruffly.

 

“Also,” Erin pulled away, looking sternly at Michelle, “don’t ever let on to Orla that you thought you were odder than her. She. Will. Flip.”

 

Michelle nodded, before they both dissolved into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

 

Gasping for air, Erin added, “Promise you’ll tell me if you ever feel like that again, eh?”

 

“Aye.” Michelle nodded.

 

“Oh and one other thing.”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“We are not leaving this cubicle until you pour that bloody ethanol down the loo. Vodka is made from potatoes Michelle, not surgical spirits.”

 

“Catch yourself on Erin, it’s vodka, it ain’t chips!”

 

Erin rolled her eyes. 

 

“As long as you agree never to snog James in my presence.” Michelle conceded, “I have my limits.”

 

“Aye, agreed.” Erin smiled, taking hold of Michelle’s hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Quick question; do you think Michelle's confession was true to her character or not? I'm curious to find out what you guys think! xx


	3. A Gamble...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Erin are reunited.

Having missed all of fifth period, Erin and Michelle had found themselves in detention, meaning Erin had no chance to find James and talk to him. Whilst she should have been thrilled to be stuck in detention with Michelle, given the most recent breakthrough in their friendship, she spent most of the hour biting her nails into non-existence, going over every worst case scenario she could think of. All ending in the ruining of her’s and James’s relationship and friendship. 

 

It was not helping. 

 

Not a bit.

 

A few hours later, sat on her bed, English homework spread out around her, Erin continued to bite her nails. The fact that she lacked any interest in writing made her nervous. The fact that the assignment, she could not focus on to save her life, was a short story based on something you feel passionate about shook her to her core. It was as if Sister Michael designed it just for her, which she strongly doubted. 

 

Her Ma and Da realised something was wrong too, she was far too quiet when she came home. She didn’t march into the kitchen and immediately launch into a rant regarding the injustice of her detention, she didn’t even announce her arrival home. When Mary, Gerry, Sarah and Joe heard Erin’s key in the lock, followed by the pitter-patter of feet up the stairs, they ran to the bottom of the staircase to make sure they weren’t being robbed. But surely enough, they saw Erin, a sullen look plastered on her face, just as the door of her bedroom swung closed, that almost made them wish they were being robbed.

 

It was almost half past six, with the sound of heated debate over the pizza order filling the house, when Erin heard the door knock. However, given that, almost thirty seconds later, the person knocked again, it was clear that only Erin had heard them. Huffing, Erin ran down the stairs and swung open the door.

 

“James.” She gasped.

 

“Hi Erin.”

 

“Erin, love? Who’s at the door?” Her Ma called out.

 

“It’s James,” Erin replied, “he’s here, for, er, help with the English homework!”

 

“Does he want to stay for tea?”

 

“Oh, no Mrsー” James began,

 

“ーHe’d love to Ma.” Erin cut in, before grabbing James’s hand and leading him upstairs. 

 

“Erin, I really can’tーoof.” James was cut off once again, as Erin closed the door to her bedroom and hugged him; arms wrapped around his waist with her head resting on his chest. 

 

“I am so sorry James.”

 

“What for?” Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, with one hand stroking the back of her head. 

 

“For making you think that I believed what Michelle was saying about you.”

 

“Oh. Claire talked to you.”

 

“Aye, but it wasn’t that that I was upset about. Not entirely.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Erin gazed up at James, “I was so terrified of our relationship ruining our friendship and when Michelle said it would all end in tears it hit a chord really.”

 

“I’m terrified too, Erin.”

 

“You are?”

 

“Of course I am, but sometimes we’ve got to take a risk, a gamble. Because I like you far too much to not risk it. Of course it could go wrong but it could also go so incredibly right. Besides, if we stopped being friends, I’m sure Claire would have a panic attack and Michelle would beat me to a pulp.” 

 

“We wouldn’t want that.” Erin chuckled, breathing in James’s smellーcombined with smell of cheap aftershave and the smell of cigarettes, that became rather inevitable when living in Derry.

 

“No, we wouldn’t.” James smiled softly, “So how about we agree right now, that should we ever break upー”

 

“ーDon’t talk like that Jamesー”

 

“ーwe will always remain friends.” James kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her lavender shampoo. “It’s the only way to put our minds at rest, Erin.”

 

“Aye, you’re right.”

 

“Now that’s something you don’t hear everyday.”

 

“Shut up.” Erin laughed.

 

“That’s more like it.” James smirked.

 

Erin pulled away and looked James in the eyes, “Did you talk much with Michelle?”

 

“Yeah, she was the one who told me to come round. I reckoned you’d want your space but she threatened to kick me into tomorrow if I didn’t.”

 

“Did she apologise?”

 

“Yeah,” James shook his head in surprise, “and she thanked me for looking after her last night. I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.”

 

“Likewise.” She scoffed. They stood in silence for a moment silently pondering if Michelle was truly turning a corner or if it was a mere lapse. A once-in-a-lifetime miracle.

 

“So,” Erin sighed, sitting on her bed, “now we’ve told the girls, it ain’t long before they,” nodding her head downstairs, “find out too.”

 

“Damn, yeah.” James sat down beside her, dreading the reaction from Joe, who was without a doubt the scariest person he knew. 

 

“Seeing as we failed to tell the girls ourselves, shall we give it a go with me family.” Erin declared, equally dreading the reaction from her Grandpa, should he ever catch them in a similar position to the one the girls caught them in.

 

Before he could protest, Erin had grabbed his hand and was dragging him back downstairs. Knowing Erin, there would be a lot of dragging throughout their relationship, however long it lasted. A long time, he hoped, feeling how perfectly Erin’s hand fitted in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the penultimate chapter. How would you guys feel about a third, and most likely final, story that depicts the Derry Girls roughly ten years later? Maybe, at James and Erin's wedding? 
> 
> Thank you again for reading xxx


	4. ...Or Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of James and Erin's big reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blimey, the last chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

“For fecks sakes!” Gerry groaned, taking a £10 note out of his wallet and throwing it on the table.

 

This was not how Erin or James expected this is to go down. They expected outrage. They pretty much guaranteed that someone was going to break something. Part of James believed that that something would be his neck. However, the moment they uttered the words “We’ve started dating.”, everyone, but Mary, groaned in frustration and emptied their pockets whilst Mary threw her hands in the air like the awful winner she is. Although, given she had just won £30, it was to be expected.

“I’m sorry,” Erin scoffed, “what’s going on?”

 

“A few weeks ago,” Joe grumbled, “we bet on how long it would take ye two to get it together an’ address the elephant in the bloody room. I reckoned it’d take years,” staring daggers at James that made him think it was more meant as an ill-timed warning, “ye Aunt Sarah reckoned it’d never happen, ye thick excuse of a father said 6 months,” Gerry shook his head at the irony of it all, but said nothing, ”and ye Ma reckoned by the end of the month.”

 

“I know me daughter, Da!” Mary beamed proudly, pinching Erin’s cheek, and then James’s. “She has wonderful taste, just like her Ma!” 

 

Ever since James complimented her, admittedly dreadful, hat at the wedding, James could do no wrong in her books. And once it became painfully obvious that he fancied Erin, and Erin fancied him back, he practically became part of the family. They reminded her of she and Gerry when they were teens, although she decided not to mention that. 

 

“Were we that obvious?!” Erin cried.

 

They erupted into laughter.

 

“Apparently so.” James whispered into her ear.

  
  


It took 5 pizzas and endless blushes on Erin and James’s part for the conversation to revert back to subjects that did not involve their love life. That was before Mary took James aside as the rest of the family watched Corrie.

 

“Whilst I’m over the moon that you’re dating Erin dear, I want to get a few things straight.”

 

“Of course.” 

 

“I’m not going to waste my breath by saying no funny business, because I was a young lass once, however I can’t speak for my Da; you’re on your own with him.” James nodded, knowing full well the risk to his safety by dating Erin, “You’re welcome to stay over anytime you like, you’re a clever lad so I see no need to tell you to useーwell you knowー but there is one thing I will not abide.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Under no circumstances will you ever break my daughter’s heart.”

 

Mrs Quinn was a force of nature with a wooden spoon, but he didn’t need her to tell him not to break Erin’s heart. After all, he never did. 

 

It took him a while to persuade her to consider an English university, so that they could visit each other without crossing the Irish Sea, but once Erin had set her eyes on East Anglia’s creative writing course there was no other university that she would even consider. That made it significantly easier for James when he applied; choosing an English degree as close to Norwich as possible, which landed him in Nottingham. Only a few hours apart, they made it work. Their own gamble paid off, as did Mary’s did (she bought a delightful new hat, with her prize money, that she ended up wearing to their wedding), but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard work. There were many evening when Erin would wake up to James climbing into her bed with the smell of cheap, train sandwiches lingering on his breath and there were many mornings when James remembered Erin, overnight bag in hand, creeping out of his room so not to wake him, to get the next train back. They both dreamed of those lost evenings; when they would go down to the pub or they would stay in and cook in their communal kitchen. They both smiled, thinking of those lost mornings: when they would curl up, intertwined, watching the sun stretch out its rays, with cups of tea in their hands. Taking pleasure in one another’s company, when it reality it became a precious commodity. But they made it work. 

 

And whenever their university mates asked them if the English-Irish thing ever proved to be a challenge in the small town were they grew up in, they would always laugh at their ignorance and say,

 

“The complexities of the English-Irish love affair is nothing when you’re a Derry Girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! I wasn't too sure about the last line so please leave any comments, good or bad, I love them all! I think I'm going to write some more for this series but it may be a while as I've got some huge exams coming up that will kinda demand all of my attention. But once they're over I'm definitely thinking about a new addition centering around James and Erin's wedding and where everyone is in ten years time. And I'd also love to try my hand at some oneshots! 
> 
> Thank you again for all your lovely support and a quick shout out to everyone who commented on my tumblr post that helped me decide what degree James would have done!


End file.
